Joyful Great-Grandma

This is a story of someone I look up to. A great-grandmother of 3 great-grandsons, a grandmother of 8 grandsons, and a mother of 4 kids.

She is 80 something this year, but she has such a youthful spirit. Let’s call her HG.

Let me tell you how she looks like. Heels will be her choice of shoes, followed by black short pants and blue jeans shirt. Then at the corner of her collar, you can see white sparkling brooch. During this pandemic time, she always put her shocking-pink yet cheerful mask on her face. If she open her mask, you can see her reddish blush on. Look her in the eye, there is a sparkling light green eye shadow followed with eye liner and fake eyelashes.

Her style is beautiful, livelier than mine, the writer. I’m just 20 something but I had never found a grandma this unique.

She brings smiles anywhere.

She says thank you with love, a very sincere one, comes from the deepest part of her heart. She would look in the eye of the person and speak it from the bottom of her heart.

She is one of the most romantic lady. She would loyally accompany his husband, bring him walk, feed him food, serve him physically and mentally. She is a very good companion. Her act of kindness towards his husband and family shows her affection.

She has traveled almost all around the countries. She had a lot of fun and gratefulness. Sometimes she got lost too on her way back to toilet or hotel. She sometimes forget things easily, which I can really comprehend.

She is one of the loveliest human being. Her love to others is awesome.

Why could she be this happy, healthy, and long life? What is her secret of live?

God.

She is God’s disciple. She reads Bible every day, after and before bed. She speaks words of God, praise and worship Him. Her love comes from God, that’s why it flows naturally.

Cancer Fighter

Hello reader, can you imagine there is somebody who can tell their amputation experience while laughing happily? I got a special friend like this.

Ten years ago when the doctor said that her leg needed to be amputated, she cried and shut herself in her room above the hospital’s bed, not wanting to be visited by anyone. Even she was reluctant to lift the blanket to glance at half of her feet.

Today she sits by the pool, a little bit jealous to see other people can swim, but at least she is laughing while telling me this story and we are even drinking premium ice chocolate!

Let’s call her VN, a-quarter-century-old woman, independent, design expert, and of course beautiful.

The first time I met VN was in a small group gathering held by our church. We were both new comer. I was curious of her way of walking, looks like she was having strain wit her leg. Then I asked her. Apparently my guess was wrong. She told me that was because of an accident years ago back when she was studying in Russia.

It took her years of becoming my best friend to finally admit that it was not because of an accident, but rather occurred due to a bone cancer.

At the very first time there was a small bump on her knee. She told her mom. It was assumed as a common bump, so VN was taken to a massage therapist. The massage was so painful, she was screaming out loud. Days after it, it didn’t get better. At the end, they decided to brought VN to hospital.

The bump got a radiology diagnosis (X-Ray). They can’t get the result immediately, needed to wait for several time. VN and her family were waiting anxiously. At the end, the result said that it was a malignant cancer, stage 2 bone cancer.

It was a very terrifying announcement for a junior high school student. VN took a package of chemotherapy. Slow but sure, her hair began to fall out. Once she run her fingers through her hair, it caused hair loss on her scalp.

Keep this brief, the chemo worked. After attending several sets of chemo-therapies, VN was stated cancer free. Finally, she could be free from chemotherapy. Sadly, this good news wasn’t last long. The next year, the bone cancer re-attack VN’s knee.

The treatment for her second episode of bone cancer wasn’t enough by only conducting chemotherapy. This time, VN needed to get a bone removal surgery. Luckily, it was not her big bones which needed to be removed, only the small one below her knee area. After this operation, she could walk was usual again. Praise the Lord.

Another 1 year passed again. Episode 2 was not the end of the story, there were still the third episode. This time, coincidentally, the cancer was returned again when her father was about to be transferred to Russia. After considering here and there, they finally decided to brought VN to Russia, with the main consideration was Russia’s advanced technology.

There in Russia, VN’s medication was repeated again. VN needed to re-drink the medicine she had took in Indonesia, same with the chemotherapy, it was needed to be re-conducted. Pity on her. Something that was obviously inconvenient. But since she believed that she would be healed, she retook the treatment.

The doctor in Russia scanned her feet and found out that apparently the small bone below her knee had been removed. According to them, it was a wrong decision by Indonesia’s doctor. It was an inappropriate action because they took off the small bone without substitute it with any other bones. There were body weights which needed to be lifted, sooner or later would gave a bad impact to the remained bones.

In Russia, after reviewing the best treatments, it was lastly decided to put in an artificial bone. In short, after they put in this artificial bone, VN didn’t feel comfortable with her way of walking. By the doctors, it was thought as something okay, VN was asked to get used to of it. Her parents also asked her to keep being patient, but one who was able to feel her feet was her own self. Another year passed again and there was no meaningful change.

At that time, another bump re-appear on VN’s knee. In this episode of bone cancer, the doctor hardly decided that an amputation is needed. The first person to cry wasn’t VN, it was her dad.

When did VN cry? It was right before and after the operation was carried out. Woefully, the operation was carried out on her birthday. It might be one of the worst birthday she could ever had.

Since then, VN was unwilling to be visited by anyone. Let alone be visited, just looking at her own feet she did not want to. If a nurse came to check on her wound, she always asked the nurse to cover her scar. Do not stop there, VN was also unwilling to obey doctor’s and or nurse’s order to learn to walk on crutches. She kept refusing till the doctor get mad on her.

It took her approximately a week for her to accept her amputated leg condition. Times passed. Years after it, today, VN comes to the day she is finally able to move on, reminisce and recount the story you read above, is retold funnily, with a lot of laugh.

Confident Walker

It took me several years to admit that my amputated leg is because of a bone cancer, not an accident.”

VA


New Normal just started at Jakarta, Indonesia. Parks begin to open. I and VA, a 25-year-old multi-talented yet beautiful woman, a used-to-stranger and now-sister made an appointment to leisurely strolling in the morning. 


Firstly we stop to eat instant noodle, then walk for 5 minutes, then sitting and talking for the whole day. So that is our kind of leisurely strolling after being caged in our own house for around 3 months of quarantine. 


“I met a new boy in a dating app. We talk about so many things. I think I like him,” told her to me. 


That’s how we started our love updates this morning. Since then, everything flows naturally. 


“The first man matched with me was a Chinese Indonesian, handsome for me. I am attracted to him. We texted intensely. Then he asked to meet me after the quarantine has been over. I told him that I am someone with disability. It doesn’t take long for him to went ghosting after I told him about my fact. It’s like he couldn’t accept my physical deficiency.


Then I try again. Now I’m texting the second man. He is a Korean. He asked me out too after the quarantine has been over. Do you think I should tell him about my amputated leg or just let him find out by himself later when we meet?”


It took me several seconds to think of the answer. “It’s a difficult question, sister. If I were you, I will… “


Then I stop again, thinking but still couldn’t find the answer. 

Then she interrupted, “It’s hard to think of the answer. What if every one whom I tell suddenly walk back? They even don’t see me personality. But what if I let them find it out when we met, then that person can’t accept it and feel that they have been trapped? It’s so normal, out of so many normal people like you, why should they consider to have a disability person like me?”


Suddenly I feel like I got a whisper from my mind,  “Dear VA, you don’t have the obligation to tell him before you met him, even after you guys met, if you are asked of your condition, you have the right too to refuse to answer.”

“I think there is no such a totally correct answer to answer your question. There are so many factors, every case is different. Different man different result. But if I were you, because I have tried to tell about my condition prior to my condition, then I will do it differently for the second man. I will just let him find out right at the time when we meet and let him value myself based on my personality, not of my physical condition.”

Smiler

I had that kind of roommate who made people laugh till their jaw getting stiff, but then every night go to bed crying.

She is lovely, having beautiful eyes yet funny unique voice. She is overweight as well. Let’s call her GB, a 30-year-old woman.

Once I asked her, “Hey, friend, what’s your most favorite thing to do in this world?”

While everyone in the room was in silence because of thinking, she spontaneously answer me, “Eating,” with full of smile in her face.

I asked her why, then she told me because only when she is eating she could forget about everything. I din’t really buy this word until I share the same bed and night with her.

We shared the same tears but not the same pain.

When we were about to sleep, I could notice that she was crying. That’s how everything started. I just knew that she is a widow. During her 3 years of marriage, she has aborted 3 babies. By the way this is allowed in her country. It means one baby every year. Then it simply means she got pregnant every year and every time she got pregnant she aborted their babies. Nope, it supposed to be her babies.

“If I could turn back time, I won’t marry this man. I was so specious and stubborn. No one agreed on my choice. My parents to my best friend, they didn’t allow me to marry this man. My ex-husband was previously a divorcee before we get married. May be that was the reason why my people didn’t allow me to marry him.

But because I was persistent, they got no choice except to let me do what I wanted, marry him. That’s how everything started. He was a lazy man, unwilling to work. It was my mistake to spoil him too.

I earned money. Let him stay at home. Prepared his clothes. Cooked him food. Served him all the best I could do. Did all the things the best wife could do. At that time I was a working wife as well. There was also a day I was pregnant and I still cooked him food while all the things he could do was only sitting and playing.

I remember in a cold winter day, I was pregnant and I cooked him food. Getting off from my work, walked a long way to cook then delivered him the meal. I was late. I felt like almost dying. The first thing came out from his lip wasn’t asking how I was doing, he was mad at me being late.

I was full of anger and disappointment, speechless as well.

At that time, I just remembered why all the people around me didn’t allow me to marry him. May be because they already knew this would happen. I regretted I didn’t listen to them and just follow my personal instinct.

Not long after saying this, GY cried. I could’t do anything. She regretted everything.

That’s how she went to bed crying everyday. She regretted her life and couldn’t turn back time. The only thing she could do to forget her regret was eating, only eating. But she felt sad for being fat too.

Make Up Lady

“We ladies do make up not to impress a man. We make up to impress ladies too. Because if we do it to impress man, we won’t do make up. We will be naked.”

Story of YP,  25-year-old cheerful expressive lady.

“Do you think man are going to notice when you put on your fake eyebrow?  When you cut your hair?

No. They won’t. They won’t care whether you are wearing blouse, pajama, shirt or gown, put your make up on or not. They wouldn’t notice it.

But as for a lady, seeing her friends having their bangs cut a slight of millimeter, putting new tiny earrings, ladies will know. They have this kind of magic eyes to realize this kind of little changes.

But someday a man come to me and realize that I was different.

That day I was following a famous beauty blogger on how to put blush on on my cheeks. She taught me to put it bravely, with full of confident.

That’s how I did. Blushing all the pink powder onto my cute face. Then I went to office.

“YP,  hi morning!”

“Morning, bro.”

Then he looked at me seriously. He asked me in a worry emotion, “YP, what happen to you?  Are you okay? Are you good? Why your face is so red?”

make up lady

Well I was super okay and healthy and fine before he asked me that question. But hearing his question, that he even don’t realize that my red blush is because of my make up made me kinda feel sad and disappointed and bad and not okay.

But anyway, yeah starting from that day I didn’t use blush on that thickly. Cursing a little bit the beauty blogger.

And another story, this time not for blush on. This time is highlighter story.  I heard them (read; beauty blogger) tell me that highlighter made my face looked glowing.

So I used it to office.

You know what?  A man friend of mine come to me with an expressive face asking, “Hi girl,  where were you been?”

“Just arrivved,” told me smiling.

“I see… That’s why you look so sweaty. “

Sweaty.

Sweaty.

My highlighter which I bought in quite a pricey price by a review from a famous beauty blogger which I thought will bring kind of happiness and proud and beauty, punch my inner heart.

That product which I thought would make my face glowing and shining is truly makes it glowing in a way a man see it was sweaty.

I was mad I thought.

I went to toilet and cried and I never used either that highlighter or blush on anymore. Et al.”

Lesson to a Young Mother

Here is a lesson for every mother, happened to a mother who abandoned her daughter who sobbed because her fingers were pinched by a glass door of a restaurant.

Based on a true story in a metropolitan city.

My mother was having lunch in a restaurant when she was surprised by the sound of a crying girl. It was loud and pathetic. She looked around and noticed some meters from her table, a 4-year-old beautiful little girl was crying because of her fingers wedged between the glass doors.

Her mother walked in front of her just knew that terrible thing happened to her beloved daughter. She was walking in front of her daughter because they were in a hurry. Hearing that sound, this young mother quickly came to the glass door and did anything to release her daughter’s finger from the door.

Soon after the fingers not wedged anymore, she pulled her daughter’s hand. The injured fingers were on the left hand, so her mother pulled the right hand. That pity little daughter cried in a heavy way, to the point she couldn’t breathe properly. Her mother kept on walking fast and scolding on her daughter, like she didn’t care.

May be she told it was her daughter’s mistake? And she wanted to let her baby girl learned something from this accident? Well, I have no idea.

cryingb baby girl

My mother had noticed this from afar, felt sorry for this little girl but can do nothing except watching from afar.

As my mother noticed this incident, the crying sound got louder. Unexpectedly, this little girl let go of her mother’s grip. She ran quickly to my mother and hugged my mother, a totally random stranger, who was sitting at a random table in the restaurant.

Got hug by a crying kid, my mother was surprised. Automatically she tried her best to calm down this kid, “Oh, sweety, it’s hurt ya? Let me see it?”

My mother took her fingers and was surprised, it’s bleeding. Then she blew it a little bit and said, “Darling, it’s gonna be okay. You are going to be okay.”

Then my mom hugged her tightly. After that grabbing a bottle of eucalyptus oil which she always brought anywhere, put in her magic bag.

She poured it a little bit onto her palm, then rubbed it off to this kid’s finger. At the same time softly rubbed her hair too, saying everything’s gonna be fine.

Where was her biological mother at that time?

Watching her crying daughter fall onto the hug of a stranger and soothed by another stranger acted as a mother.

It might be the kids’ fingers that are injured, but I think it might be this young mother’s heart that was broken the most.

Mother Working as a CEO

“Hi JG, so happy to meet you, so how’s life?”, ask me to JG, a 50-year-old successful CEO having a 10-year-old beautiful daughter. 


“Hi too!  Thank you for asking. Life’s been very good, very productive as well.”


Suddenly JG’s phone ringing. JG open her phone and open a photo of a beautiful hand drawing. She smiled proudly and show me the phone. 


“Woww… Such a beautiful hand drawing! Is it drawn by your daughter? “


“Yes, it is.”


“This is wonderful, a young kid like her can draw this very detail. She is talented in drawing, I can tell it by seeing this beautiful astronaut. If I’m not mistaken, she is having a holiday, right?”


“Thank you for the compliment! Yes, she is. A long one.”


“Oh really? Until when?”


“Until around August. It’s still a long time to go. I wonder if I can accompany her. Unfortunately, I can’t really do. And our nanny’s just kind of runaway. She can’t be contacted after Lebaran holiday.

So my daughter kind of losing one of her best friends.”


Well, I’m kind of speechless to hear it, I don’t really have any solution. The only thing I can do is to be the best listener. So I sat there, just talking. 


“I think we can find something like a class or a program to join, kids camp or something alike.”


“Yes, I’m looking for one. How to say… As her mother, I wish I can accompany her, letting her know I can always be her best friend. But at some point,  I wish she could understand that my responsibility as a CEO of a law firm makes my day full. I’ve tried my best to arrange a time for her, gives her the best school, the healthiest food, the most beautiful cloth, any best thing for her. But maybe all she needs is quality time, I’m trying my best to fulfill it. “


“Hi dear, I can see it, I can feel it. I notice every single act of your love to her. From the way your eyes read her messages, to the way you blow her hair, it tells everything, more than words. Even you set your special phone ringtone to differentiate her messages from your Clients right?”


JG didn’t say anything. But her eyes kind of saying that she is nodding. I believe it’s a yes,  so I continued. 


“I noticed that too! You are the best mom, and the best CEO as well!”


Not long after that, JG’s phone ringing again. This time a bit longer, a special ringtone from her little princess. JG picked up her phone and said, “I’ll be there! Let’s grab sushi together.”


I got surprised, we just had a full delicious dinner. I’m still full, and I believe she is full as well. 


“So you are having another dinner? Again?” asked me half laughing.


“Hahaha yes, my second round of dinner, with my princess. Sorry, the best CEO mother is leaving. Good night! And thank you!” 

Patient of Cataract

I thought I’m the strongest person in the world, being able to bear the hurt of my knees when it’s outer skin being roughly swiped with a gauze in a operation room to clean the wound. But my speculation is wrong, UL a 25 year-old accountant is the strongest yet bravest girl friend of mine. 

“Hey UL, how is your cataract operation? Went good? “


“Hahaha,” she laughed, “Surprisingly unforgettable! “


“Unforgettable? Why? Would you mine to share me how you deal with it?”


“Yeah yeah sure! So they do an operation to change my lens. For your information, my eyes are minus 6. The left one is cataract, so i have to change the lens into the new one. 
I thought they will do a total anesthesia, but they just do the partial anesthesia! But anyway since it’s an anesthesia, I thought it wouldn’t be so hurtful. So there I was, lying in the operation room, wearing typical white operation cloth. They closed my right eyes with gauze, or whatever white thing it is. But my left eyes left open, I wasn’t able to wink my left eyes So my lovely left eyes keep opening during the operation.”


“Hmm okay. Then?” asking me to her because UL suddenly didn’t speak at all.

cataract eye


“I thought it won’t be hurt since I get anesthesia. But oh my God, my expectation was totally wrong. I can see and feel the operation very detail. Since my eyes can’t wink and always be opened, I can see and I can’t not see how the doctor use his scalpel to do something with my eyes. Even though the doctor tell me to see the lamp on the quite above part, I can still see everything,  so clearly. 


The most painful part is… Mostly everything. Because this cataract operation is my second eye-operation, so I still have sewing scar inside my eyes.  Even tearing up that scar is hurting me like a lot. The one that I can’t bear is the moment they sucking up my lens with a tool. Daaamn, it is super irritating. The heart detector suddenly raises a high-tone voice. I felt super tensed. The nurses keep telling me to keep calm.

Wow how can she?  I’m the one lying on the table operation, not her. The only thing I can do is to remember to breath. So that’s everything I tell to my pity self. Breath.

“Breath. Wow, thank you, such a nice tips. Anyway, you told me that they suck your lens up? Is it even real? They changed it into other people’s lens or how?”

“Thank you for notifying that part. They changed it with a new product, a company produce this lens. So, right now in my eyes, I wear a brand,” told UL to me smiling.

“And one more thing about the lens. Do you want to know how does it feel to have no lens in your eyes? 


Everything is red!  Red quite brown, color of blood. “

At that very moment, I got a goose bumps. I think UL is super strong and crazy as well. She even tell it by laughing now. Hahaha


“After then, the second scariest part coming. The moment when they put the lens to my eyes, the pain is something like the pain they suck my lens up.


And to be a sweet reminder, I can’t close my eyes. I can’t unseen everything. I have to see how the scalpel and all the doctoral machine which raises various voice dancing around my left eyes view, seeing how the doctor move his hand here and there, and I can’t cry. And I need to keep my tension stable so the heart detector isn’t producing any strange movements.


The operation only run for 20 minutes, and it is one of the longest unforgettable 20 minutes of mine.  It feels like forever!”

Working New-Mother

“How can I not falling in love with her? Having her in my womb for 9 months was a miracle, giving her a birth to this world is another breakthrough. And now having her cute smile every hour I open my eyes in the middle of night, morning, day, afternoon, night again… is something addictive. I fall in love to my little baby girl more and more.

lovely baby girl


Knowing that my maternity leave is about to end makes me feel a bit sad. How can 3 months be this fast? 


I just see my little girl learn how to turn around. It’s on her second months. She even start talking to me! Enjoying her lovely view every time I breastfeeding her, her innocent face anytime she fall asleep, and a beautiful voice every time she laugh on anything. It was all make sense enough for a new-mother like me to think not to continue working anymore. I think these 3 months is enough. Enough for me to realize that I love my baby more than my Clients! 


So I go back to office, teach my down liner, transfer all the needed knowledge, then send my resignation letter. 


Now I have everyday to enjoy every single development of my little princess!”

Story of SL, a 31-year-old brand new mother.

Working Mother

“Sleep at 11 pm tonight and have to wake up 4 am in the morning. Happy, tired, and more than grateful!”

A story of MD, a 30 year old mother, having a lovely daughter, working as a Personal Assistant.

“I find it amazing if I look back at my previous days, how I wake up 4.30 am every morning, cooking breakfast and lunch for my family, bring my little daughter to school, then riding motorcycle to office, changing cloths, using heels, and put on my make up. Work until 7 pm.”

Then MD continued, “Sometimes in the middle of making report, I got a phone call from home. My daughter is crying, sometimes because she simply miss me, sometimes because she is sick, sometimes because any other reasons. Then I need to stop for a while and makes everything alright.

It has never been easy. Sometimes I need to choose between work and family. Of course family is forever number 1 in my heart. But, if there is no work, I got no money too for fulfilling her needs. So, time management is a must-have value in my life. I need to know my priority”

“What makes you able to do these things?” I’m questioning her.

“Hmm…” She stopped for a while, then answered, “I’m not sure too. I just keep it up hour by hour, day by day, keep doing it, no matter what happens. Maybe her happy face in my mind made me able to face this. It’s not that difficult after I did it several times. I got used to of it.”

MD also suggested me,”Hey you, young lady, enjoy your youth. You still have many more years to come! Don’t be afraid to be a mother, don’t also be afraid to be a working mother, it’s wonderful. You’ll love it.”